A general feeling of restlessness while trying to figure out what comes next - right back where I started in NM. Dad has a way of exploding, continuously exploding, bubbling over his own brim, and I am put into the position of having to temper my feelings, to refrain from rising to his ecstatic level. I see this reflected in my mother as well. Sometimes she is pulled in, later she reacts with an aggressive passivity...

OOFKAUU: the task at hand is to organize the content visually to know what I have and determine where I will venture next: a flow chart for the raw content, a sorting mechanism, a spatial organization of the documents > website. I need to accumulate source material + inspiration for the visual layout structure: images which describe a hierarchy/taxonomy of information, to be translated into vectorized models, to be used as a template for website construction. Remember ___'s website = image nested within image = akin to the visual cosmological website I envisioned at Joshua Tree. The audio components should be integrated into the diagram, video/moving image activated in response to viewer inter-actions, Mandelbrot nested complexity of internal/external oscillatory architecture.

A desire to clean house, return to a blank slate, to reduce down to the most bare of elements and expunge the excesses and redundancies of this entropic process. Word documents compiled into meta-documents. Letters compiled into series of content-organized groups: how to document? How to archive conversations as they are unfolding? The notebook archive: how to unpack the past to make it accessible in the present oriented towards articulating speculative action into the future? Walking + Talking + Thinking is definitely integral to the project but I need to decide what is useful, what needs to be saved. Is automated transcription possible, or desirable?

The immediate goal is to build a platform which captures all of the actions, ruminations, and miscellaneous creations of life itself: the OOFKAUU as a web-based architectural container for existence. Continuous uploading and broadcasting to a personal subjectivity cloud. The early articulations of the OOFKAUU - oriented towards primary being/self - is progressing towards the material instantiation of that self, the materialof the data defining that self, the medium transmitting the message, the orientation and movements through the stack.

It doesn't always have to happen at the same time, in the same way. Thinking that it must, or it should, is inhibiting growth of the entire form. I must focus upon the expansion of detail, "fidelity," of the language used to describe the structure. The OOFKAUU is a frame I have put myself inside of, but there is also an orientation from the outside - is this a different language or the same? Is the orientation a matter of belief, a tautology that can be broken by choice? What is the determinism of consistency, of a self in stasis, staying the same according to principles invented or inherited? I meet humans whom self-describe as more fluid, flexible, limber with a great distrust: how can I trust a person who is unstable, undefined, indefinite, always in motion? How can the self be seen or interacted with if it is always vibrating? The fulcrum of the OOFKAUU is the tension between the grounded definitive being and the arial perspective, effluvial flow, atmospheric pressure coursing through the upper stratospheres. To get beyond essences another form of knowledge must be articulated, both is and is not my own, will not come from within but must come without. In articulating the fundament I have the option to uphold it or abandon it. A later stage of the OOFKAUU will come when I/we will confront the tumultuous reality of choice, of determinism, of the responsibility of defending this internalized conflict, of the humanist project as it is externalized into the world, as it worlds the world we inhabit - the responsibility of crafting the world we wish to inhabit.

The question of philosophy: Why? Or, what if? The prologue is the how(?). Where is the gray area, the spectrum gradient, the neutral, the interstitial territory, the opening up of profuse potentiality in-between these hard and fast empirical buoys? Can it be located, inhabited, and what would be the positive/negative repercussions of maintaining such a state for more than the moment of recognition - to not take a side, or to side against the humanist agenda? What is the power (supposedly) achieved in relation to the other, what is it capable of? What is the potentials of inhabiting a firm empirical perspective as opposed to the fluid noncommittal flux form mind? Certainly neither is superior but can be recognized as having strengths and weaknesses... The articulation of a new ontology... is this confined to empirical terms? How to expand definition then, to increase definition, break apart and open up vocabulary, to make visible that which is currently ineffable? REMEMBER! : the word list, the need for new words, the necessity of new expressions through a long process of discovery = the long meandering journey of my self through the self-same-likenesses of the OOFKAUU.