WHEN CAN THE BEGINNING BE SAID TO HAVE BEGUN?

SUNRISE / SUNSET = LANDMARKS OF THE DAY. IDENTIFIABLE LIKE FINGERPRINTS ON A PERSON. RISING + SETTING = ANGLES OF TRAJECTORIES OF SEEMINGLY INFINITESIMAL LIGHT PARTICLES CASCADING THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE TO MINGLE WITH THE DUSTY DANDER OF THE HUMAN CLIMATE.

ANTHROPOCENE = HUMAN-ORIENTED ECOLOGY

NOOSPHERE = ATMOSPHERE OF PSYCHIC SENTIENCE

NOTES ON THE DAY BEFORE

Yesterday, ___ and ___ arrived from Florida after a long drive across the southern USA. My mother spent all day in the kitchen preparing "simple appetizers" for them, definitely "not dinner," but laboring longer than she normally would in the kitchen nonetheless. My father on the other hand had been preparing for their arrival for weeks, perhaps months. In fact there seemed to be little else on his mind in the days leading up the their arrival. ___+___ arrived at 15:00, entering through the front door. We each received hugs and exchanged light humors as we found our positions around the kitchen table that had already been arranged with a variety of orange-red foods of a variety of textures. My father poured glasses of white wine for himself and his brother, two glasses of simple red table wine for myself and my mother, and a tall glass of sparkling water "with a splash of cranberry and a twist of lime" for my aunt ___, whom has always carried a carefree attitude towards alcohol. Earlier, I had placed a camera in the upper corner of the dining area, perched above the kitchen table directly over the screen door leading to the backyard, out of view but seemingly conspicuous nonetheless. As we sipped our glasses and crossed arms over the table reaching for the sweet potato bruschetta I wondered if anyone would spot the phone perched over the door and think it strange, but no one seemed to notice. The conversation began as soon as the door opened, about the length of the drive and the exhaustion of the journey, the annoyance or necessity of needing to stop and stretch, how long one would think such a distance would take compared to the "record time" it took them to arrive, gas mileage, gas prices, how boring it is to drive through Texas, how beautiful Texas is, how ugly Texans are, how many "Trump" signs were spotted all along the way and what that might represent about the declining average intelligence of our great country. There was more than mere mention of traffic conditions, what cities took the longest to drive through, what shoes are best suited for traveling such long distances, and surprisingly vivid descriptions of various hotel room interiors and their associated economies for locations across the country. What followed was a discussion, spoken with nauseating passion and chilled ego.

I wonder now if I should have prepared to record the audio of the conversation, to have it on record to review or transcribe as I like, and how tedious it would be to have to relive it. I believe I will attempt this on future occasions if I can rig the recorder in a place that will not interfere with the dynamics of the room - camouflage. That being said I cannot transcribe the details here, not verbatim, and again I wonder how useful or interesting it would be if I could. I think probably not very much, if at all. Am I to function here as the golden sieve, the writer of history, one in the position of ultimate power, to take the initiative to write my memories saturated in my perspective to render a definable color to the conversation? History is written by those that remember it. Writers manufacture facts. Would it be more honest, more transparent, more fair or compassionate to have recorded the words from the person that spoke them, in order for the thoughts to be most accurately preserved? Or on the contrary, is it better to let the utterances fall to the floor, mere residue of the fleeting moments to be wiped away just as quickly, thereby liberating each subject from the incriminating statements shared through familial trust and within supposed domestic privacy? [The windows were wide open during our meeting and I was very aware of how far our voices traveled, certainly far beyond the perimeter of the small property]. Where should these opinions begin or end? How should we hold ourselves and each other responsible for what is said? How does it change when it become written?

I keep remembering the work of ___, as observed through the time we shared in Iceland. Nordpaunk festival, overpriced red wine out of a box, finding a bag of weed from god, having a conversation with ___ in the front seat of the car while ___ set the recorder down on the central console. He later transcribed the text into a very fine chapter to this book. While reading over it later after it had been edited, I was struck by how potent the dialogue was. Even though I was re-presented it was adapted with sensitive creative agency. I was one of the voices participating and I could still recognize myself in the syncopated syntax, yet I also felt like the treatment wiped away the biographical details of my personage leaving behind all of the idiosyncrasies of my character without excessive artifacts. This would be a good strategy for my own work I think. What do I need to record about this conversation then? What is significant or useful for the project at hand? Five people around a table. Five would-be characters around a table. The table served as the site for an impassioned conversation, the likes of which I'm sure happen everyday. This incident marks a beginning, and perhaps also an end.

I'm not going to recount the details. Today I will be prepared to record these conversations so I can make sense of them the following day. What was significant about the foundation laid down yesterday was my fundamentally divergent position in defending the importance of change. I was out on a limb, in defense of free will and the personal responsibility to do more than rationally understand the other view but to empathize with those to whom one is speaking. Remember: agonism over antagonism. Tomorrow I will be better prepared to speak and to capture.

I must prepare to capture these scenes.

• Use a lower bit rate to make smaller files and increase recording time. Should be able to capture 6-8 hours per day without issue. Test today to make sure.

• Experiment with placing recorder out of sight in the next room. Prepare the room before people occupy it.

• Again, what is the purpose of the video in these instances? What needs to be captured? Remember: the passing on time on another scale. Still-lives of plants, furniture, unnoticed "invisible" attributes of the environment which may influence or absorb the temperance of the dialogue.

• For now, exercise a strategy of continuous recording of both audio and video = be prepared with power and storage. Cellphones are invisible these days. Use this as a strength: put the phone on a table with the camera up to record video of the room from this "bottom-up" perspective.

• Take notes in the moment = Allows for a breath, a pause, a moment of critical apperception.

• Speak clearly, deliberately, as concisely as possible. Use the magic of words to steer the conversation towards more productive places. Exit the territories towards the neutral zones...?

• MUST PREPARE TO RECORD FACETIME CONVERSATIONS: technical trouble shooting

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