distractions of civilization, anxiety caused by thinking, forgetting as an act of comfort= succumbing to vices. The opposite of mindfulness: mind numbness. I hope she will read Donna Haraway, UKLG, Levi-Strauss... but more than reading, there is a powerful discussion between us here on this point waiting to be hatched. Why is the city & all of its materials & processes & persons perceived as a negative force, put into opposition with an "idea of nature," thereby articulating the unnatural? Urbanity is an outcropping of nature in an anthropological sense, but destructive to the integrity of the equilibrium of a self-regulating spaceship earth... but this consideration is not in defining the parameters of what constitutes nature so much as how we as humans/persons are affected by our environment. ___: considering all the problems of the world produces anxiety which is not sustainable, increases distance between the holistic self & the whole sieve of existence, removes the mind from the flow. Now, while thinking less, motions are more natural, even while the personal environment has becomes more toxic. For me it's different: being immersed in nature "off the grid" swells up a wellspring of corporeal affect, feelings of profound integration, taste of holistic medicine, but also prevents me from making anything at all. Human enterprise "feels like" the antithesis of natural flow, yet is the source of inspiration: a paradox. As an artist/visionary, I have charged myself with the task of remembering (self) & reminding (others) of this dichotomy: the deal I have struck with the universe, living on the periphery, a foot on either side of the threshold. Is this a question of conviction, intuition, active/passive awareness? Or of personal preference? Certainly this also concerns ethics, social awareness (beyond the personal), and political tapestries woven on the loom of collective living: in a word, responsibility - as citizen of the world. If we all shut down our senses, all stop thinking & stop caring (or reduce this empathy), the neglected world will disintegrate. A question of negligence, self-preservation, globalism & care of the other in relation to self-care, self preservation. I have chosen the path of sacrifice, trying not to be a martyr for a cause but to dampen my own comforts to test the limits of urban utility: I can't expect this from anyone else, & also will not hold on to anyone else's anxieties. Self-responsibility, self-accountability, but as an empathic being living-in-relation to the whole tribe.

The "technology of meditation" in consciously pursuing the content stirred up in dreams. How might I develop a personal/biographical technology to account for my inner states? The opera as technology of the psyche, not just a cultural edifice, beyond the arabesque, towards a soft machine / bio-mechanism of the perpetual visionary.

Thinking & speaking are powerfully predictive actions.

Reveals the power to instill deep affect in others. The visionary maintains the vision & dispenses with visions to others, helps them to see: my biography? Listening & speaking: I want both to receive the universe & to let it pass through me, filtered, distilled, condensed, translated, "made" manageable.