but I often find that the influence flows just as freely the other way. His rigor is inspiring, the depth to which he has articulated his own project - even though or perhaps because of the very fact that I disagree with the premise upon which they are founded - continuously taking great risk to achieve an authentic relation to the world on his own terms. His decisions have amounted some great resources for himself - socially and now finally financially as well - providing an opening of more opportunities and allowing him to keep working, something I have always struggled with. In receiving an email from him today, I am aware of pangs of anxiety coursing through my own subjective system, I can't understand why. It's not founded in a spirit of competition, but perhaps a guilt of falling behind, metaphysically, upon the path of truth-seeker and vision-makers, a strange bastardization of an internalized capitalistic angst - so to this extent perhaps it could precisely be conceived as a competitive spirit-demon which must be exorcised! We artists cannot be opposed to each other without swimming in the same stench of death we aim to cleanse ourselves from.

All collaborations must be put on hold until I return from Switzerland, to allow myself to gain some new insights, solidify the foundation upon which I stand and strengthen my position in relation to others. I'm anticipating many conversations with SEA transpring during EGS so I will refrain from getting ahead of myself in anticipating them now - trust in the organcism. The self-portrait is related to the notebooks compiled upon the bedroom wall in NM, a collation of my personal autobiography into an epistemological diagram that can be put on display. The secret is in the aesthetic model of ecology - AWOBMOLG was a welcome research reminder on this front. The ecological framework is the lattice architecture of relational dynamics which can be mapped without explicating content - even stronger for doing so - which will feedback into the OOFKAUU ontological flow.

I just need to get to work. Clear the work space, clear the desktop, clear the mind, begin the outline of the territory.