It seems like all life experiences are turning into inspirations for character development.

Examples:

___ as the Vital Materialist.

___ as the Vital Spiritualist.

___ as the augmented reality designer.

___ as the musician.

___ as the feeler of feelings.

Other characters could be written from anyone/everyone in my life, but especially:

___ as the feminine shadow or whoa-man parallax.

___ as the empathic Scandinavian pseudo-shaman: charlatan selling snake oil cliché.

A choir of ex-girlfriends screaming!

A choir of me(s) screaming!

A choir of children and trees screaming!

___ as the void/abyss/blackness of goodness.

___ as the betrayer.

___ as the painter (!!!).

___ as the Anti-Object Oriented Ontologist.

___ as the Lacanian Psychotic.

___ as Thor's Ear (!!!).

___ as the feminine sex of the primordial mountain.

___ as the jazz drummer - pure feeling, brutal masculinity.

___, ___ as the stoics.

___ as Heidegger's poet.

___ as the Kind Earth.

___ as the void/abyss/ of death and destruction.

___ (___'s GF) as the weathermaker.

___ as the voice of God incarnate as the Word.

___ as the obsessional neurotic amateur ethnomusicologist.

A breaking point with ___: I can no longer bare her low fidelity descriptions of experience. Will this realization lead towards a solution, or is it a problem in itself, or perhaps the beginning of the end? We shall conduct an experiment to create distance between our personal projects and each other - for me this might be impossible unless I begin working through clandestine subterfuge, for which there is an excellent opportunity. On this note, we discussed a scenario for a documented conversation imposing framing mechanisms as limitations: a concept to ground what is discussed, certain vocabulary limitations to direct attention towards other conduits of communication... seems worthwhile for conversations with myself as well. This proposition makes me aware of how all human relationships - beyond the OOFKAUU into the "real" - are based on such compromises, yet not stated so explicitly. Is there harm in the statement of them as such? Perhaps, yes. Here there is concern for the intelligibility of the relationship, of what can be said and what is better left unsaid, of what is seen to be visible for each party in the ensemble in determining what they are able to be aware of and therefore how to act in relation. For the OOFKAUU this consists of a charting of the relational bonds connecting points of definition within strata of the experiential matrix. For LIG (Life In General) these rules appear as arbitrary, oppressive (facist), obsessional, neurotic, perverted, etc, depending on their degree of public/private performativity.

Concerning the VOICE: I remembered the possibilities of musical treatment with the vocal range: "we always sing in microtones" and speak in infinitely nuanced spectragrams also. Each voice has particular socialized frequency modulation supplementing its natural projection, a sonic range which corresponds to attributes of identity: gender, social class, general affect (sickly person), etc. More research is needed on this matter: this arena is the sociological and becoming-political territory of the opera.

Musically, there is are some very important considerations at this level: recall Mike Figgis' "doom sting" triadic chord structure for filling the silent moments in his films with an ominous feeling. Likewise, various "empty" spaces of the opera may be filled with various qualities of this colored/textured/affected sonic representation of emptiness. Here is the research corresponding the ineffable emotional capacitance of music and its ability to transmit such information to an audience of viewers, requiring a rigid notational lattice to structure the musicians beyond their potencies to express as autonomous individuals.

Variations on the Figgis Doom Sting:

Confusion Sting

Ennui Sting

Malaise Sting

Anxiety Sting

Recoil Sting

Alienation Sting

Comfort-ability Sting

Good-ability Sting

I outlined for ___ a 10 point system for producing meaningful statements from her own being, through her own expressions, consisting of 3 nested triangles.

"Definition" at the center, surrounded by:

User / Time / Space

Velocity / Fidelity / Complexity

Self / Other / Big Other

The 3rd section requires revision, replacing the terms to be less Freudian/Lacanian.

This nested diagram is working towards a ontological model of self-definition, self-articulation, orienting a logical structure upon the ineffable emotional wellspring of existence. Another similar diagram could/should be created to reverse the process, to apply an affective/intuitive wisdom upon the rational mind to translate its artifacts into corporeally/emotionally accessible information. To the same extent that this ontological matrix is currently being used to definite concepts within LIG relationships, the affective model should be carefully crafted and put into use experientially.

LIG is the petri dish for the OOFKAUU, while the OOFKAUU is the abstract diagram of LIG. A lattice of relations designating the prioritizations and interrelations between life and the opera.

The meta methodological diagrams articulated on the recent walk needs to be drawn out, illustrated, brought into visual clarity. It is the macamammamatrix which will be populated by the research accumulated over a life-long endeavor to articulate the self.

I need to roughly sort through all relevant texts, being them to a copy shop, and print out the entire lexicon in chronological order for them to be digested thoroughly. * I'm still suffering from the same problem of disorientation/confusion endured through sustained distraction by the continuous investment in the desires of the external world. How to fortify against this without losing touch with humanity - or is that an inevitability?

Articulations of the humanist project of civilization and deciding what side of the fence I'm going to pitch my tent.

The possibility of developing some choreography through conversations with ___, ___, ___. How can a conversation about feeling, the body, movement through space, and interpersonal orientation be conducted through technological mediation? VIDEO of course: remember ___'s video, self-capture prioritizing the gaze, intersubjective/relational POVs, low fidelity to emphasize camera movements. Also ___'s video: dislocating the eye away from the head and onto the peripherals of the body = "peripheral vision!"

*There seems to be emerging an elemental orientation here: ___ as water, ___ as fire, ___ as air, who will be earth? ___ as the aether, defying all categories: pure ineffability.

Collaborating with ___: dancing out our own private choreography - how to record/document it without becoming intrusive? How to communicate the idea without turning our relationship into a model for the OOFKAUU? How to "conduct" a conversation concerning the creation of sculptures of feeling - a product of the conversation experiment perhaps? How much of this needs to remain hidden?

THE FRAME / THE STAGE / THE PLATFORM

Within and upon this mock void will be conducted the initial actions of the first act of the opera: the carbon table, the emergence of the narrator, the introduction of the framing mechanism, the introduction of the macamammamatrix ontological supercollider, a general orientation of audience to the lattice of the stage itself.

NEED TO BUY:

- 4 sets of 10'x10' tripod curtain hangers with curtains (preferably in both white and black).

- Piano hinge for remaining plywood walls

- black roll-out flooring